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Novum Justice – It’s Never Just A Scratch. By Brian Vaughan ID #56278

I have on occasion returned to visit Novum Dolorum Colony, renowned as the only place in the whole freaking galaxy to obtain the Novum mecha, it has a certain allure even for the more seasoned pilots seeking the elite mecha and I will admit I have a little thing for Tori as well. That psychopathic, brazened-haired woman who is as tight as they come…when it comes to giving up her mecha. I digress.It was on a recent escapade that I happened to graze the paint of one of the “mad-scientists” who resides there. What ensued can only be described as David meets Goliath, how it would have really happened. Basically, I blew his mecha apart and left him somewhere in the middle of a heaping pile of a broken arclight’s armor and armaments.Despite the assurance that the matter was settled, a few hours later I was approached by a band of local police and read an abridged version of what I later came to find out was a legal complaint that alleged reckless mecha piloting and unfair combat practices. Whatever the hell that is.For those unfamiliar with the legal process on Novum Dolorum I can assure you it is about as warm and friendly as a Narvum stuck in an actuator. I think most mecha pilots can attest to the validity of the statement that such an event is not desirable. Yet for all it is not, for better or worse the legal system works fast! Maybe too fast.I was taken to the local magistrate and found Dr. Dementia standing there still wearing his singed uniform and a less than amused expression had replaced his submissive cower worn so deceptively just a few hours prior when he assured me it was a done deal.Led ever so politely (yeah right) to my spot in the respondents chair the magistrate slammed the end of a worn-down long pistol that apparently sufficed as a gavel in these parts and the trial began.The good doctor rambled on for a good 45 minutes telling the harrowing tale of how I had come in a hatorade fueled rampage through the streets and smashed into his mecha, causing significant damages before opening fire and finishing it off with superior combat fighting that he, as a nothing but diminutive Dr. of the sciences, could not respond to. With that, he presented the remains of the cockpits targeting computer and produced a series of graphic pictures showing the significant damage to his mecha.I knew two things immediately. First, the pictures where of course from our “duel” and second, judging by the sympathetic sad faces on the judge’s face and all the others present, this was a no-win situation. This is how it is on Novum. Justice is as evasive as the Novum mecha.I plead no contest and was ordered to pay a fine of 150 niode cores deliverable before my departure from the courtroom that day or spend the next 400 cycles in detention. Screw that, I got circuit fights to get back to. A quick transmission to the mothership and my crew chief was transporting the “payment/extortion” to the magistrate.The smirk on the good Dr.’s face was almost enough to warrant a second more personal ass-kicking, but my chief convinced me better to cut my losses. Not sure when I will head back to this pile of dung in the middle of the galaxy, but my word of advice is if on Novum Dolorum and you scratch the paint of an innocent-looking Doctor…develop a new strategy and let the rookie win.

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